Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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