U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
