i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
cat food counts as protein by the way
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
