he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
