But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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