fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
