My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
