Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
