you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My vagina just recognized that song.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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