im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think I died a long time ago.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
