His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
