Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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