so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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