dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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