Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
