I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
