So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I think people are normalizing furries
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
