As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
