Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize