Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
MIDGETS
????
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
