he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Did we literally take a cab across the street
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
