I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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