she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
