Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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