Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
