Yo dont text me then not text me
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
