please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
