I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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