I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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