Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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