All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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