people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I skipped work to stalk him.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
