I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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