Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
