I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
