I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
