They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i barfeds in our rink
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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