ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
