this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
