Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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