I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
