bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
