i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
