You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
