we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
And then he peed in my hair
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
