Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
