hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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