This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
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