I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
