I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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