...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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