HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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