walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
