ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
