He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
