remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
