Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
