so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
