is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize