There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
