tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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