He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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