y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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