this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
